I love it when this happens. I come to a problem, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope... and I end up in the Bible, reading a verse that specifically speaks to my situation.

(Okay, I'll admit there are times when this actually annoys me. Example: being frustrated with someone and wanting to find a verse on righteous anger- which I did not find. What I came across instead was the verse in James that says "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" and then it later goes on to say "do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." That was obviously what I needed to hear at the time but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.)

But today, I love it. I've been thinking and praying and thinking and praying some more about the future and I can't seem to make heads or tails of it. I have no idea what I'm going to do. There are different options and ideas- some of them are even kindof working out. But I'm still so confused about if they are the options I'm supposed to be pursing. Or if they are just options that just happen to be available.

I have been talking to friends and family about the options and if anything it's made everything more complicated. Not to say that they aren't helping- they for sure are. Yet, since we are all our own person, everyone has their own idea and view on things. One thing that stays constant is my constant statement of "I don't know." It's one of my main responses when I'm asked what I'm thinking or feeling. But another thing that is constant is that everyone is telling me and I know that I need to go to the Lord with this.

I was reading in Jeremiah (I'm working my way through the book) and I came to chapter 33 vs.3 which says "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I read this verse about 5 minutes after telling my sister "I don't know" again and her replying "it's okay to not know." And I realized, that yet again God had answered my unspoken question of "do I need to know right now?" and i learned- no, I don't need to know. God's got it all under control. He will show me what I need to know. My brother and I were chatting and he stated that I shouldn't try to force what I think is best... and to know that God will direct me. And also just the reality that whatever I choose, God will use.

So right now, I'm just resting in this reality:

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. I don't know. But that's okay. And God will use me in whatever I do. It's not something that can push me away from God. He's always there. And as long as I keep Him number 1, that's all that I need to know.